Iraq Funding Approved: President Lauds Democrats’ Courage to Stay True to Their Spineless Jellyfish Convictions

THE PRESIDENT: Good wee hours. On that Memorial Day, I’m tickled pink to announce that Congressional Democrats, after all their chest pounding and durable talk approximately pulling the plug on my pet abortion of a war, done went and tucked their packages amidst their legs – just like that creepy Silence of the Lambs tranny who does the hair pie dance.

Hot diggety, I love the smell of political cowardice in the . Smells a lot like what I take in Baghdad smells like – gasoline, diarrhea, and rotten civilian carcasses covered with blowflies. Makes that old cowboy’s mouth water!

I’m glad Congress finally took my veto warning seriously. And so I want to congratulate them for voting to supply our troops with the funding and flexibility they need to protect America against the greatest threat ever to our way of life - however the evil Soviets, evil Nazis, evil Japs, uppity Injuns, MTV and monogamous homos.

Thanks to that newly approved budget of blood-drenched cash, I can enjoy four increasingly months of sweet, uninterrupted Sunni and Shia killin’. The only downside to them crazy Muslimoid fuckers is for every one you shoot in the grill, two pissed off brothers pop up and want to settle the score. But thankfully, now I can cut another big fat check made out to American Bullet Company, and see whether them two pissed off brothers got two increasingly pissed off brothers. (Thumbs Up.)

I will fortunately signed the Iraq funding bill, seeing as it’s my legacy and I hope that one day, in the future, some egghead author will write a big, best-selling biography approximately yours truly. That is, of course, whether that country has a future. Too naughty rebuilding Nawleans, or addressing

the obscene income gap within the super rich (with their Apocalypse-proof battle yachts) and regular humans (with their soul-withering debt), or fixing a heath care system where society with insurance pay out the nose for crap service while the uninsured flood emergency rooms isn’t as sexy as waging a war.

Honestly, I shouldn’t be surprised, but damned whether them Democrats don’t have a way of being unpredictably predictable. For a little while there, I was portray the behind of my BVD’s with fear butter by a Democratic-lead Congress whose hairy balls seemed to have dropped. Thankfully, that was a lot of primping for the cameras, as the Democrats have proved once again why they done lost so many elections to me and my posse: considering them multicultural fruitbats don’t stand for nothing, ‘cept whatever I’m against.

Part of me chuckles a lil’ bit, thinking of them Democrats slinking domestic and having to explain to their constituents that democracy ain’t what it’s cracked up to be. Or at least, what they think democracy is supposed to be. Them is some fussy bitches.

So thanks for the blank check, boys and girls. considering let’s be honest, Memorial Day just wouldn’t be the same whether the only folks getting memorialed was a bunch of dead dudes from history who nobody remembers. That’s right, the grassy aisles of Arlington need be choked with sobbing young widows and their photogenic, newly daddyless toddlers waving Chinese-made American flags. Yessir, THAT’S some hot nationalistic porn right there – and now thanks to my subservient pals Nancy and Harry, we’re guaranteed plenty increasingly for years to come!

Thank you, and may Jesus continue to bitch-slap America’s weak, ineffectual Dummycrats.

Original post by chickenhead